jeffinmotion

merlin:

BET Awards celebrate Michael Jackson - CNN.com

Like a well worn but still-sparkling glove, BET slid easily into Michael Jackson mode Sunday as the network’s annual awards show began.

Ok. Wait. Let me get a pencil and a nice Xanax.

1. This glove sparkles. Still sparkles. Despite being “well-worn.” I’m struggling to reconcile that. But, no matter.
2. The inexplicable glove simile is used to modify BET, right? Read the sentence again. Ok, why not? BET is a glove. That still-sparkles. And is well-worn. Sure. Moving on.
3. So, what is it that’s sliding into this glove? Aha! Exactly! Nothing. It is the glove that is sliding into something else. Got it? BET is a glove. That still-sparkles. And is well-worn. And is—contrary to a more traditional application of the metaphor—sliding into something else. But, what will this glove slide into, you ask?
4. A “mode.” The glove is sliding into a “mode.” While still-sparkling.
5. The “mode” is “Michael Jackson mode.” And now it has a glove in it.

Later, awards will be distributed.

If I wrote news headlines, this is what they would be like. Who at CNN do I forward my résumé to?